• Kat Johnston Sketch: 'Mew? Tuna, please,' says the kitten to the crowd, 'I'd like my dinner now.'
  • ‘Mew? Tuna, please,’ said the kitten to the crowd, ‘I’d like my dinner now, if you would be so kind.’

    No-one had expected this. No-one for a moment had even an inkling that the Feline Alliance would so quickly overcome the opposition of the human factions. Truth is, cats had been priming the homo-sapiens for thousands of years into a state of somewhat-subservience. It wasn’t really too much of a leap to make that final move to quash remaining rebellion within the midst of mankind. No-one can resist cute kitten eyes. Especially not me.

    With a reluctant sigh and a downcast gaze, I crumbled, fetching from the glistening counter-top the very last sachet of premium ‘Tasty Tuna Delight Kitty Chow with Hairball Control’, tipping it into the spoilt feline’s dish and setting it on the ground beside me. Lolita had won yet again. Dinner was early tonight.